Literally Every one of Chris Traeger's Literally Moments!

I literally love Rob Lowes's character, Chris Traeger, on Parks and Rec. He is so refreshingly different and unique (which is pretty hard to do for a white guy character). I love his upbeat attitude and uber-healthy lifestyle. Sometimes I feel like the Chris Traeger of my office, and that makes me smile. I'm really sad to see Chris go (even if it won't be until mid-season), so I'm happy that Vulture put together a list of all of Chris' 'literally' moments. For some reason, twenty-six seems remarkably low, but I guess Parks has dispersed the literallys more sparingly than it felt like. Good for them! They are literally the best writers in TV right now!

HapEnds' Woplayplay!

Frankly, I don't understand what the big deal is... Don't all of your convos sound like this supercut of Happy Ending's lingo?

TFL - Tabbed for Later

Alex Symonds over at Pajamarama has created a brand new acronym, TFL. She describes it as such:

TFL (tabbed for later), which you say when someone sends you a link to something and you don’t have time to look at it right then, but you’re opening it in another tab (or have already come across it and opened it in a tab) with the intent of checking it out when you can.  

There is an element of the social contract to TFL: it implies a promise to discuss the link in question once you’ve gotten around to it. TFL is for friends and lovers.

And a new acronym is born! Use it, enjoy it, and spread the word of this glorious internet language throughout the land.

Or, if don't have time to read this post right now, just TFL and let me know when you get to it, ok? Thanks!

Eponymity: Immortality through Nouns!

Wanna Live Forever? Become A Noun from NPR on Vimeo.
I'm loving this catchy tunes about eponyms and their creators. True, no one likes the guillotine, but I really do love cardigans! Especially the cardigan Welsh corgi!

GB: Paris Vacation: Day Zero: A Long Day

Hello from Paris! Or as I have learned to say to the French speakers here, HELLO! HELLO! DOES ANYBODY SPEAKA DA ENGLISH?

We had a wonderful, if not long, flight from Newark to Orly on the airline Open Skies, which is an all first class airline. We were on a British Airways 757 that had been retrofitted so that the old first class section had chairs that folded down into beds, and the old coach section (where we were) had big first class seats that folded almost all the way back and were like big lazyboy chairs.

I cannot imagine surviving a 7 hour flight like this in coach. Upon taking our seats, we were greeted with all the champagne or orange juice we could drink. After takeoff, we got a meal of either chicken and rice or tortellini with a tomato and mozarella cheese salad. We each got the tortellini. I figured that was the vegetarian option that I had checked for her when I booked the flight, but the flight attendant came back to us later and said oh were you the vegetarian option? Apparently in first class you get choices of what to eat. We explained that the tortellini was vegetarian anyway and then she asked if we wanted her to leave the other vegetarian meal (ravioli) with us as well. We politely declined. The tortellini and salad were delicious. The trays had tiny salt and pepper shakers as well as a tiny bottle of olive oil/balsamic vinegar to dip the bread in.

Not being sophisticated, when the crew came by before the meal to hand out placemats for your seat tray, I turned mine down. I didn't know they would be serving us dinner 5 minutes after takeoff, so I thought they were giving all these rich people placemats so their hands wouldn't have to touch the plastic trays that were built in factories by poor people. AS* got a good laugh when they came by with the food and looked at my uncovered seat tray and the attendant asked me Did you lose your placemat?

Speaking of the rich, we were the youngest people onboard by at least 20 years. I suppose the benefit of an expensive ticket is that no one is going to buy seats for their screaming babies. It was a very quiet flight throughout.

They gave out little tv screens that had some movies and tv shows built in for you to watch. They were touchscreen and would've been REALLY cool if we both didn't have iPads. I got 30 minutes into the Green Hornet before I bailed and just watched what I had put on my iPad. They did have The Next Three Days, the Russell Crowe movie filmed in Pittsburgh, so I might give that a shot for the way back. The majority of the flight we spent sleeping comfortably whilst reclined. An hour or so before landing they served us breakfast of yogurt and orange juice.

After landing at the Orly airport, we started looking for signs for the Metro. We had a good idea of how to get from the airport to the apartment, but it proved easier on paper than in practice. Especially since in practice, I do not know if you're aware, the people here speak some sort of gibberish language that the signs are also written in. After wandering through the terminal we decided that there was an airport train that would take us to the Metro station we needed. From there we could get our Metro tickets and head to the apartment.

So we got off the shuttle train and used our tickets to get us through a gate at the station "Antony." We couldn't find a Metro ticket machine. AS suggested we ask the American guy who had run over my foot with his suitcase and said "Excuse me." He was in France visiting his daughter who had been living here for a few years. He and his daughter were nice enough to explain to us that the ticket we had bought at the airport actually WAS our Metro ticket (it's so tiny! I was expecting something the size of a NYC subway card, not a raffle ticket) and that instead of buying a ticket that would get us to Paris, we bought a ticket that would literally take us one stop from the airport to where we were. D'oh! Then they told us that there weren't any Metro ticket vending machines inside the stations so our best bet was to just get on the train with our defunct tickets because apparently it's very rare that a conductor will ever come through to check your tickets.

To get to the apartment we had to transfer trains twice. We got out for our first transfer only to find another turnstile between us and the train. Our defunct ticket wouldn't get us through so we figured we'd go above ground and now we would actually buy a ticket that would get us into Paris proper. Upon reaching the surface, we saw that at this particular station there was also a turnstile to exit that you had to put your ticket into. Having defunct tickets, we were trapped. We couldn't go through the turnstiles to exit the station and we couldn't go through the turnstiles to get to our next train. Luckily AS, being tiny, after a few minutes was able to rush behind someone else who was exiting and get in line to buy us proper tickets. After a few more minutes I was able to do the same and meet her. We purchased our tickets from a woman and got back on, making it easily to the apartment this time.

One note on the Paris Metro versus the NYC subway: In NYC the doors open and close at every stop when the train pulls into the station. On the Paris Metro apparently, the doors don't open. If you want to get on the train you have to open the doors from the outside and if you want to get off the train you have to open the doors from the inside. And the train doesn't have to be stopped yet for people to open the doors. They unlock as the train is slowing down in a station and people will just open them and pop off before the train has stopped. This has encouraged me to not lean against the doors, as I do in NYC.

The apartment is gorgeous and appears to be centrally located to all the restaurants and museums we want to visit. Upon arriving, we did a little grocery shopping and general walking around. We got a baguette and some peach/raspberry jam as well as some stinky cheese from a cheese shop down the street. It smells so horrendous that we have to keep it in a ziploc bag, but once you cut a slice it doesn't smell very strong at all and has a nice creamy taste.

For dinner we walked around what seemed to be a hip young neighborhood and sat down at a restaurant that was on our list for a simple ham and cheese sandwich, or croque monseur. Upon ordering, our waiter informed us in French that the kitchen was closed and they only serve lunch. We stared blankly at him so he repeated himself in broken English. Luckily there was no shortage of cafes in the area (a note on cafes: all the seating outside faces the street. There might be tables four rows deep, but the chairs aren't facing each other, they're all facing the street, like a movie theater. And everyone is smokin.) and we were able to find a place across the street with a similar meal.

When we sat down AS ordered us a Coke and two waters. The waitress took our menus, a bad sign, and returned with our drinks. A Coke and two Evians. Our phrasebook word for still water apparently does not equate to free tap water. She gave us our check for the drinks and we explained, in what I will ambitiously call "poor French" that we also wanted sandwiches. Eventually we got it right and the meal was quite good. We ended the day at a gelato shop nearby, where the French ordering went much smoother. They constructed the gelato around a cone in slices that looked like petals, so when they were done it looked like a rose. I got chocolate and coffee, AS got two chocolate and chocolate hazelnut.

After half a day in Paris, it has become clear that the struggle and fun of this trip is going to come from speaking French poorly. We are optimistic about it though and have only been speaking French to the people we interact with, scoffing at the restaurant last night when the table next to us was ordering in English.

I've attached some quick snapshots to the email. One is of a cool looking church around the corner from the apartment, one is of the inside of a mall that I thought looked funky, one is AS in a park outside a market where we saw some dogs, and then the two of us outside the apartment building.

I'll send another email tomorrow about what we do today, though since I've spent most of the morning writing this email, I imagine it will be a much faster read.

Goodbye for now, or as we've been saying: *Walk quickly away in silence because we're only half sure we've left enough money*

*I figure I'll go by AS, as in Artful Stew, in these posts, since we're being very creative here.

The Bronx Zoo Cobra has been Found!

While I'm happy that I only need to check my toilet for regular snakes now, I am a little sad that I'll lose out of the stylings of the delightful @BronxZooCobra twitter.

I'm not saying it can't tweet from the Bronx Zoo, but really, what would it tweet about in there?

"Swallowed a rat whole. Don't have to eat for a week! Time to nap."

"Nap's over. Wow that week went fast. Wonder when the keeper will be here to give me my rat..."

"Rat's here! Swallowing it now. Tried to bite the keeper, but I missed. Oh well, there's always next week..."

Not the funniest stuff.

[You can read the full snake-in-a-toilet article here]

New Post on Puppies at Hyperbole and a Half!

New post up at Hyperbole and a Half! In which Allie finds herself and her boyfriend moving to Oregon, and their two dogs acting like insaneoids. And yes, that's a new word I just made up and it's awesome. Insaneoids - start spreading it, sixth graders who need a new word with which to insult your younger siblings!

The post is here.

I like all the drawings of dogs (I really need to learn how to draw dogs this well). The story's cute, too, but, I have to be honest, if I picked up and moved my life across the country, I'd be asking like a puppy who's gone all insaneoid, as well.

On Justin Bieber

That should be the elegant title to Bieber's recent memoir, as read aloud by the graceful thespian, Gordon Pinsent. Enjoy with light applause and many grilled cheeses.

A Nice Way to Start Your Friday: Words

A short film made by Will Hoffman and Daniel Mercandante with the help of NPR and Radiolab. Enjoy!

Hilarious Blog!

Just found out about the CAPTCHArt. It's based on those annoying random word generator tests that you have to fill in to prove you're not a robot on the internet. These are pictures illustrating them. While clearly there's not a lot of artistic talent going into them, it's still funny.

My favorite so far is Matrix Pita.

New Word: Bubaffoon

Dear Readers,

In light of Sarah Palin's advanced word coining skillz, I've decided to come up with the perfect word to describe Sarah Palin herself.

BUBAFFOON (bu'-bu-foon) n.

A person who encapsulates the behavior, characteristics, affinity for social grooming, and social and intellectual ignorance of both a baboon and a buffoon simultaneously.

As Sarah Palin munched of a tasty tic this afternoon while shooting wolves out of a helicopter, she revealed herself as a complete and utter babuffoon.

Alright, World, it's been done. Let's start calling the babuffoons like we see them!

Lama or Llama?

Do you think the Dali Lama ever wears a llama fur jacket and dreams of what could have been if only he had been born with an extra l?

Or do you think he feels more like Buffalo Bill but in a llama-skin-suit instead of a people suit?

Just something to think about...

Smart Girls at the Party!

If you guys haven't seen Amy Poehler's series "Smart Girls Out at the Party" do yourself a favor and check it out! It's hilarious, heartwarming, and inspirational all in bite-sized 5 minute doses! Also, my new thing is to mix metaphors I guess. Hooray!

The series is really fun, silly, and inspires young women to be themselves and strive to succeed by following their passions. Heck, it even inspires me! I'm totally going to follow my passions... once I figure out what they are, that is. Tonight it seems to be eating cupcakes and writing blog posts, but there could be new horizons in the future.

Plus, SMATP (pronounced SMATt-pah!) makes me super jealous of Amy Poehler's amazing life (who else creates an awesome webseries with her best friends and at the end there's a dance party with all the stars of Parks and Rec? I don't even understand how brilliant that is). I'm also jealous of her two Production Assistants - can I have that job, please? I'll do twice the work for zero the pay!

I'm even jealous of the bright ladies she interviews, but then I remember that the children are our future and more importantly are the ones who will take care of me when I'm old via technology and stem-cell-grown kidneys so then I'm just happy for them. It's gonna be great!

Anyway, here's a clip of Amy and her friends plugging their website, which is, again, right here! Go to it, enjoy it, and let me know what you think! Here's hoping one day that we can all be the Smart Girls at Amy Poehler's SMATP Parties (unless you're a guy, in which case I hope you're still a guy unless you decided to switch but that's entirely up to you and I'm totally supportive either way.). K BYE!

Find more videos like this on Smart Girls at the Party

Words are Fun!

As demonstrated in this short film by Jacques Khouri, words are made of a thousand pictures.

words from jacques khouri on Vimeo.

This Game is Killing my Life

Fat Slice is a vicious game. It may not have a time limit, but it somehow still seems to inflict pain on me every time I play - you have to be so careful in order to slice off the edges! And if you touch the wrong thing it makes you start the whole level over, even if you just have a tiny bit left!

Can any of you master this horribly painful (also horribly addictive) game?

Personally, I prefer Mental Flosses' Brain Games - at least I don't have to slice anything, and if I give up I can just click a button to figure out the answer.

PS. The Math Squares are my favorite - probably because, like Sudoku, there is a right answer and if you just keep guessing, you'll figure it out.

This is Adorable... And Would Never Work in New York

It's official: People from Minnesota are nice.

This probably has to do with the fact that it's so miserably cold up there that everyone has to huddle together for warmth. When you're that close together, it doesn't pay to be a jerk - that's when you get shoved out of the hug circle into the cold with only your igloo or SUV to warm you (note: I have never been to Minnesota - it's in the Arctic, right?).

Anyway, these Minnesotans picked up on that super nice Pennsylvania diner thing (remember that? If not, click here) and were like, "Woah, WOAH - Nobody beats us at being nice or they get moose syrup in their eyes!" (seriously note: never been to Minnesota - was Fargo shot there?)

So they decided to get Crazy Nice on everyone's asses and perform 1,000 random acts of kindness over one month. Then they beat their own goal and performed 1,300.

Acts of Kindness included: (Bylines Written By New Yorkers)

- "Cleaned a very dirty and smelly microwave out for others." (By someone who got sick of the microwave at the office)

- "My son left his wallet at the pump at holiday gas station. A customer brought it, the attendant called me. Nothing was taken." (By someone who hates free money)

- "Grabbed a salad dressing off the top shelf at the grocery store for an elderly couple." (By someone who then bought it and used it himself, right? Old people have great taste in salad dressing. It's one of the few things they can still eat. Bet it was tasty.)

- "I gave someone a package of brownies to have because she was having a bad day." (By someone who hates that B for being so darn skinny.)

And that's why this could never happen in New York. Though it would be nice.

Wheelhouse?

Where did the word "wheelhouse" come from and why do we still use it?

I'm just saying, who's ever heard of a house made entirely of wheels? Or a place that only makes wheels?

Come on, English, come on.

Enjoy 3-2-1-0 for the Next Hour

Take a look at the calendar. Today, March 2, 2010 is 3-2-10.

Enjoy!

Nature's Getting Raunchy

The Sex Wars of Ducks

Apparently, people don't just get Nature's "premium" content for the articles.

Who Knew?

These are the original puggles*.



*For those not in the breed-lingo know, a "puggle" is a popular term for a pug+beagle puppy. The original puggles, as seen in this... adorable (?) photo, are actually baby echidnas. Check them out at Neatorama or Zoo Borns.