Guy Who Looks Like a Younger, Sexier, Blue-Eyedier Harry Shearer, please stop leaving your apartment door open.
Since I have discovered that you are not, in fact, Harry Shearer, I have decided that it's weird how often I see you in the halls, and that I saw that you have a huge flat screen TV in front of your bed (since you apparently don't have a door to your room). I don't care if you are a swinging older bachelor, it just creeps me out.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
The Voice(s) in the Vent
The next installment of what is quickly becoming a new Artful Stew series...
Thing we know about him:
1) He's definitely gay
2) He's SUPER gay
3) His friend is even gayer.
And by "super" and "gayer" I mean stereotypical. Why?
1) One of the voices (the one who doesn't live there but appears to just be over for drinks), I'll call him Guy 2, wanted to set up Guy 1 with a male choir singer who he's "known of... for a while"
2) Guy 2 is going to the Jersey Shore for a vacay Tues-Thurs, and he's going to spend the weekend in Fire Island (a notoriously gay hot spot due to its fiery temper and hot, hot men, I assume). Guy 1 is "filled with envy" because he can't go.
3) Guy 2 tells Guy 1 that he's a "social butterfly" who will find something to do. After all, they did just go to a "gorgeous ball" the night before. So there!
4) Guy 2 laughs the whole thing off that his trip is just to please a guy he dated for a while after high school.
5) Guy says, "Ugh, I've never had a boyfriend... (LONG PAUSE)... for that long"
Poor Guy 1! He's too busy working from home and singing along to Wicked to find the love of his life! As his vent-mate, I feel the need to help.
Anyone know any eligible bachelors? I've drawn up a personal ad:
Male, late 20s, friendly, talented singer with loud personality. Always there for his friends, like he's talking to you even if you're in another room! Looking for male partner with sizeable apartment fit for two. Loves sleepovers in exotic locations (anywhere but his room)!
If interested, please email: WickedisLife@gmail.com
Thing we know about him:
1) He's definitely gay
2) He's SUPER gay
3) His friend is even gayer.
And by "super" and "gayer" I mean stereotypical. Why?
1) One of the voices (the one who doesn't live there but appears to just be over for drinks), I'll call him Guy 2, wanted to set up Guy 1 with a male choir singer who he's "known of... for a while"
2) Guy 2 is going to the Jersey Shore for a vacay Tues-Thurs, and he's going to spend the weekend in Fire Island (a notoriously gay hot spot due to its fiery temper and hot, hot men, I assume). Guy 1 is "filled with envy" because he can't go.
3) Guy 2 tells Guy 1 that he's a "social butterfly" who will find something to do. After all, they did just go to a "gorgeous ball" the night before. So there!
4) Guy 2 laughs the whole thing off that his trip is just to please a guy he dated for a while after high school.
5) Guy says, "Ugh, I've never had a boyfriend... (LONG PAUSE)... for that long"
Poor Guy 1! He's too busy working from home and singing along to Wicked to find the love of his life! As his vent-mate, I feel the need to help.
Anyone know any eligible bachelors? I've drawn up a personal ad:
Male, late 20s, friendly, talented singer with loud personality. Always there for his friends, like he's talking to you even if you're in another room! Looking for male partner with sizeable apartment fit for two. Loves sleepovers in exotic locations (anywhere but his room)!
If interested, please email: WickedisLife@gmail.com
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Writer on Writing
Sometimes I avoid writing at all costs. This is generally when the writing needs to be:
a) funny
b) good
c) turned in at a certain time
d) all of the above
For whatever reason, it seems like a looming, ominous cloud hanging above me that spells out the words, "You're gonna blow it." So I'll do other work (usually a writing project that doesn't need to be any good), or browse the internet (Google Reader!), or watch a TV show, anything but write what I don't want to write. But when I finally take out the paper (or pull it up on Word) and start typing, regardless of whether it's good or not, I get excited and jittery in a good way, like things are happening and I'm at the head. Like I've got all these great ideas inside and me, damnit, they're going to come out whether they're coherent or not!
At the end of the process, I've generally got a shitty enough first draft to work with, but it's funny how simply not starting something can make you avoid it all the more, even when you know that if you just get started, just a little bit, you're going to get through it.
Writing is funny that way. So is life. Neat.
a) funny
b) good
c) turned in at a certain time
d) all of the above
For whatever reason, it seems like a looming, ominous cloud hanging above me that spells out the words, "You're gonna blow it." So I'll do other work (usually a writing project that doesn't need to be any good), or browse the internet (Google Reader!), or watch a TV show, anything but write what I don't want to write. But when I finally take out the paper (or pull it up on Word) and start typing, regardless of whether it's good or not, I get excited and jittery in a good way, like things are happening and I'm at the head. Like I've got all these great ideas inside and me, damnit, they're going to come out whether they're coherent or not!
At the end of the process, I've generally got a shitty enough first draft to work with, but it's funny how simply not starting something can make you avoid it all the more, even when you know that if you just get started, just a little bit, you're going to get through it.
Writing is funny that way. So is life. Neat.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Sundaes Take the Lead!
4 hours left - for a second there rainy days looks like it was going to take the lead but no! Someone gave the last-minute push to Sundaes!
If you're in it to win it, vote now - this is the final countdown.
** Update - Sundaes take the WIN! Let's all go eat ice cream everyone, ok?
If you're in it to win it, vote now - this is the final countdown.
** Update - Sundaes take the WIN! Let's all go eat ice cream everyone, ok?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Health Care Reform
This NY Times article (appropriately named "Health Care Reform") is comprehensive and clear.
Read it. And then please do what you can to turn the idea of health care reform into a reality.
Read it. And then please do what you can to turn the idea of health care reform into a reality.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Poll Alert!
In a surprise turn of events, sundaes has taken the lead! For days it lagged behind "Rainy Days" and "Nights, obvs" but it turns out some people do just love ice cream!
But it's never too late for a comeback! Sundaes leads by a mere vote - any two vote in another direction could turn the tide entirely!
It's up to you, readers!
But it's never too late for a comeback! Sundaes leads by a mere vote - any two vote in another direction could turn the tide entirely!
It's up to you, readers!
New Feature!
For those of you who want to note that you liked my post but don't want to leave a whole comment, please see the "Reactions" label at the bottom of each post. You can check one of the boxes (like "funny" or "interesting") and then I'll know what you thought of it!
Thanks!
The Management here at Artful Stew
Thanks!
The Management here at Artful Stew
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