Diet Racism: When Just a Little is Still Too Much

College Humor has a fun soda commercial parody called, Diet Racism, "when you say stuff that's kind of racist but stop short of saying the n-word"

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

Ugh, why is this so true? Barf society barf barf.

[via HuffPo]

Jane Austen Characters "Against" Feminism

Not sure if you've heard of the anger-inducing meme going around "women against feminism." It's super frustrating, but the blog Mansfeel Park did a fun takedown using Jane Austen characters. You can read more hilariously dumb male commentary-turned-comic at their site. Here's their Jane Austen Characters Against Feminism:

[Via HuffPo]

NYT's "What's In It?"

Once you get past the hyper-produced graphics, there is some serious shit to be learned in this video series by Michael Moss and the New York Times. The first lesson? Apparently there was a thing called "Cookie Dough Oreos"



Other things I learned: uncooked flour can make you sick (I never knew this one and now I'm somewhat terrified), and this whole "Permissions" marketing strategy. It's creepy and I don't like it, but at the same time I did eat a lot of "banana pudding ice cream" when we were in Pawley's Island, but I think it did have some legit banana pudding, whipped cream, and 'Nilla wafers in it. Then again, maybe I just imagined them?

In other news, Texas is down 20 abortion clinics

Just one year after Texas passed one of the harshest reproductive rights restrictions in the country, half of Texas' 40 abortion clinics have closed. By next year, the entire state will be down to six. This is a tragedy, and another reason why we must elect Wendy Davis and other pro-choice candidates to stand up for women's rights.

Besides, if conservatives really wanted to help and protect future generations, they'd embrace the Medicaid expansion. Since they refuse to do that, I can't take the idea that they care about anyone but themselves seriously.

Your Annual Depressing Media Diversity Stats

Here. Blarg.

Tobacco is Wacko if You're a Teen Farmer

Daily Show did a great segment on the super, horrible legal loophole that allows teenagers to work on tobacco farms:

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook,Daily Show Video Archive

The saddest part of the segment is how self-aware the tobacco farmer is - he's not just some deluded guy they found. He legitimately knows what he's doing to these kids and thinks it's totally ok.

Also, Sam Bee = amazeballs.

Top 7 Reasons I Politely Disagree with The HIMYM Series Finale

Hi guys. I was all prepared to write a super heartwarming lovey-dovey goodbye to How I Met Your Mother tonight, sure I would be totally satisfied with the series finale - or at least think it was pretty ok and made sense. Unfortunately, things started tanking pretty quickly... Obvs, EVERYTHING BELOW IS A SPOILER.

First of all, I am but a fan of the show, not one of the writers or creators, so I'm not going to pretend to be all high and mighty about what they "should" or "should not" have done. I'm also not going to say that anyone who loved the finale is wrong. Everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I have this blog so that I can express mine - also, for puppies.

With that disclaimer, these are the things - in no particular order - that I, personally, strongly disliked about the finale, and its reflections on the series as a whole:

1) Annoying old lady. Not because she wasted serious screen time or that she was a super cliche character, but because she (almost like the much-hated-countdown-to-tragedy-clock) set us up for a fun, happy, light-hearted finale when instead its tone was depressing and cynical. Makes the gut-punch feel worse and also like, what's the point?
2) Tracy = Fertile Robin Stand-In with a convenient cancer (or other mysterious illness) timer. The one saving grace about this whole season has been Cristin Milioti's great acting, which made me feel like Ted was finally going to grow up for her. The writers put her through a lot (Did she have to be miserable for ten years before finding Ted? Really? Did she have to have a dead boyfriend she never got over? I guess the best you could say is that he was her "real" soulmate and she was finally able to escape Ted through the kiss of death to be reunited with him??), but it was all under the guise of "she'll be happy when she's with Ted." But then after ten years of pain and suffering, she only gets six years of happiness? And Ted gets to have the rest of his life with the woman he was in love with the entire time before he met Tracy - with the added bonus of the kids he always wanted but couldn't have with Robin? So, essentially, Ted sacrifices nothing and gets everything he ever wanted, entirely at the expense of Tracy (and Robin). Tracy got screwed. Royally. I know it's not her story, but since she was kind of the most likeable character by the end, it just seems messed up. At least in Definitely, Maybe (which has the same "twist" ending), they just got a divorce. They didn't kill off the poor girl's mom. Plus, I just fucking hate it when people throw in the "too beautiful to live" character who dies peacefully without a fight and gives everyone permission to be happy when they're gone because they're wise beyond their needlessly shortened years. And I can be pissed about that because I'm one of those people. And I take it as a personal insult. Sick people are not doormats.
3) Robin's a sad/famous dog lady. Way to put the nail in the coffin of the "career vs. kids/love" debate. "Kids, the thing about life is... you'll never be fulfilled until you finally give into that creepy guy who obsessed over you for 15 years. Doesn't matter if you have a killer job that lets you travel all over the world and break stories that change lives. Nothing will make you happy until you're with that douche-face who, when telling his children about their dead mother, is really talking about how you were the love of his life all along." I mean, she's literally back at the beginning of the show - dogs she can't control and all - showing how miserable she is to be alone. Not to mention, they more than hinted that it was her career that broke up her marriage with Barney ("I have to travel for work" "You hate it when I'm here. You hate it when I'm gone" - Where's Barney's say in all this?). She stops hanging out with everyone for the very legitimate reason that it's weird to be around your ex-boyfriend and ex-husband and they act like she's a bad friend. Also, Ted gets to have two "loves of his life"and Robin for 12 years is just super sad because all she has is Ted?
4) Marshall gets to be a Justice of the New York State Supreme Court. Lily gets to have more babies. It's just frustrating that Lily's career is never brought up again after Rome. And if her main thing is being a mom (if so, more power to her), why is she never seen with their kids? Or even like she loves being a mom (instead of just being a vessel for baby-manufacturing) and is happy for any other reason than Marshall's success? I know it might seem like a small thing, but I think it was emphasized in the fact that she was the only one who seemed to want to get the gang back together all the time, like this was all she had. Of all the characters, you wouldn't have thought she would be the mopey, nostalgic one living in the past - give that to Ted or Barney. Also, of all the characters, she was the one whose career and dreams were never taken seriously. And here it shows just how little that changed.
5) Throw away nine years of Barney's character growth to emphasize how much more important having a child is than anything else (again). Just because a marriage failed, doesn't mean you didn't learn anything from the experience. And just because a couple is childless doesn't meant that their marriage isn't real or worth growing up for. Plus, although Barney "flipped a switch" when he met his daughter, in the end he's the opposite end of the same, sexist spectrum. Instead of being a misogynistic character who preys on women's self-esteem issues, he's a paternalistic character who blames women for their self-esteem issues. I know that's how Barney began, but he became so much more. It was a shame to see that thrown away.
6) Ted and Robin's relationship was self-destructive and childish, and yet it's the love we're supposed to believe in? HIMYM did a great job (clearly, far too great) of showing how devastating Ted's obsession with Robin was to his relationships and to her. He really messed her up. When he finally let her go, it was a huge relief. It may have been about fives years too late, but they both seemed free of the weight of this classic "Nice Guy" who deserves the girl because he's romantic and won't take no for an answer. It's not real love, and if HIMYM wanted to give us a more "real" finale (what with the divorce and death and all) than the standard sitcom, I'm a little disturbed by what they think real love is.
7) I think, in the end, I was disappointed that they didn't take a risk and follow the story and the characters instead of the outline. Nine years ago, they wrote that Ted and Robin ended up together. Nine years later, they were too afraid to admit that things had changed.

But that's life. Things change. People change. And with writing - you go through draft after draft, you scrap your ending, you write a new beginning, you rewrite your middle, you rewrite and rewrite until your characters are alive and your story tells its own ending. You don't shoehorn your final draft to fit your first. Because, quite frankly, your first draft is always, and forever will be, the worst thing you ever write.

In the end, kids, writers all know that you have to kill your babies - not your mothers.

February Fail!

Hi guys,

Usually I make it at least two months into the year before pulling a, "uh.... I forgot to write posts this month!" and I'm not going to say I have a real excuse, but I'm trying this new thing where I write 35 minutes every day and I've been doing a really great job of it, but I've also used it as excuse not to do blog posts. Boo. Normally, I'd make up for it tonight, but one of the projects I'm working on is due tomorrow AND I have another project I found out about yesterday that's due mid-next week, so I legitimately have to get started on it. Again, this would not be a problem and I would power through tomorrow and it would be awesome (I have so many awesome posts in my brain! They are all flagged in my Feedly "blog stuff" folder. So much fun stuff this month - and don't even get me started on all my cool nails!!), but I'm going to be with my in-laws and you can't tell your in-laws you procrastinated on your blog posts so now you can't hang out. Not cool. Personally, though, I place the blame entirely on the month of February. It's clearly WAY too short! If it would just have 30-31 days, I could spread these out... but no. Way to drop the ball, February.

Anyway, get excited about next month's posts and in the meantime here is another parody video of "Let it Go" because clearly parody videos/homages/covers of that song will never go out of style:



Huh, I may not be a mom, but I strangely relate right now...

[via HuffPo]

October: First Attempt at Fall Nails

Epic fall, you guys. And by fall, I mean I'm doing a terrible pun for epic fail in the fall. I didn't even Instagram this one because my best laid plans went awry. What I should have done was image search for "apple nails" and check out the best way to do apples in the fall. See this, this, or this. Instead, I decided to come up with it on my own, and I came up with a thumb that looks like a red butt emitting a green poo. The color contrast between red and yellow for the polka dots is not so fantastic, either. Oh well, you live and you learn and some people learn a lot about nail painting.

August: Chevron Nails or: Using the Tape Was a Better Idea

Before our big trip up to Maine at the end of summer, I decided to try to freehand paint some pink chevrons. We were running low on time and I didn't want to spend another hour and a half cutting up tape (Or twenty minutes or however long it was. I kind of lose track of time when I'm in the "nail zone" (Definitely TM)). This proved to be disastrous. Look at those nails - sloppy, uneven, globs everywhere. What a mess. The only one that turned out even sort of acceptable is my thumb, and that's only in a "artfully sloppyily handwritten by a Brooklyn hipster on a wedding invitation" kind of way. Also, the fact that this image is of my right hand tells you just how terrible it was - that my right hand (i.e. done with my non-dominant left hand) turned out better than my left.

Note: I always do my left hand first and then my right hand because I want to give my right hand even the chance that it will look somewhat near as good as my left hand. That's because my left hand inevitably ends up as my, "Let's try this and see how it turns out" and then my right hand is my, "Ok, now I know what I'm doing it but I'm doing with super-shaky lefty over here" so it generally turns out pretty even.

In the future, I think it would be perfectly acceptable to do chevrons freehanded if I had a tiny nail brush (OK I'LL STOP MENTIONING IT UNTIL I GET ONE IN A LATER POST!), but with your standard attached-to-the-top-of-the-lid-of-the-polish-cap brush, no dice.

Good color choice, though, am I right?

Washington Metro's Super New, Super Sexist New Ads

Shout out to my friend Shira for writing a great Happy Place article about the horribly sexist new Washington Metro ads claiming that, basically, "Women Be Shopping!" Give it a read!

Just Another Reminder How Terrible Dog Breeding Is

Gawker pointed out this concise post called, "100 Years of Breed 'Improvement'" on a Dog Behavior Science blog. Comparing photos of eight breeds from 1915 to today, the blog runs down the list of hereditary health ailments that have been bred into or exaggerated through breeding these dogs. The bulldog is, of course, the worst of all (and if you look at images of bulldogs before 1915, you'll see how healthy and normal they used to be even prior to then). The fact that people still breed and sell bulldogs at all disgusts me. They're forcing a being into a life that literally can't breathe or live healthily in any real capacity. I cannot understand why any humane person would want to do that.

THR: Animals Were Harmed

This Hollywood Reporter feature on the complete inadequacy of AHA regulations and oversight is both revealing and horrifying. I had heard rumors about this for years. I'm glad that THR was bold enough to print this. I hope the outrage it causes effects the changes that are clearly necessary to get this reprehensible problem under control.

Disenfranchisement Gets Real

Now that Texas' voter ID has gone into effect, we're already seeing a microcosm of the disenfranchisement of women, minorities, and poor voters it's causing. It's truly a disgrace that Texas Republicans devalue the lives of so many people in so many ways: from restricting women's control over their own bodies to believing that just because someone is poor or Black, he or she doesn't deserve to have his or her voice heard in this republic. Clearly, they understand that the only way to hold onto power is to strip it from everyone else. It's a sad, desperate move, that I hope will be remedied. The question is, will it be remedied soon enough to avoid catastrophic consequences?

Barf Barf Fox Buys Rights to Turn 'The Knot' Into Wedding Movie Barf Barf

Seriously!? Fox, just give me your moneys and I will write you some delightful movies that do not need to be based on websites that admittedly I used and found very helpful while planning my wedding but the story of my wedding is FAR more interesting narratively than the website I used to plan it! Same goes for 'The Nest' and 'The Bump' - Come on! For realz! Other hyperbolic statements!! LOUD NOISES!

Comedic Hurdles

Another perspective on Kenan Thompson's comments.

As for me, I generally blame the system. From not enough encouragement, support (financially, emotionally, etc-ally) when women and people of color (and women of color) are starting out, to bad management and guidance when the lucky few finally breach the system, to executives just plain not caring all that much because if your friend or friend of a friend is a talented white guy, why not just hire him? It's way easier, and you know you'll get along well.

Does This Explain Why I'm a Failure, but my Relationship is Great?

A study out of UVA suggests that straight men feel worse when their partners succeed, even when they're not in direct competition with them. I guess it's true that I feel much better knowing the person writing this article didn't succeed in giving the study the enormous grain of salt it deserves. It was done on 32 college-aged couples. First of all, 32 is way to small of a sample size to make such a wide-ranging conclusion. Second of all, college-aged guys are idiots. They probably would feel bad if they themselves scored in the top 12% of a test because then they might be a nerd. I know the article tries to back it up with the two studies it cites in the bottom, but a) the Netherlands? Really? and b) Does anyone seriously trust an online study? Come on.

I'm Sorry I'm Repeating Myself, but F**k Rick Perry

What a dick.

Um...duh

Is anyone else not at all surprised that a hospital stay after major surgery can cause PTSD? Especially for the patients they followed (whose specific surgery/drugs gave them terrifying hallucinations).

Good Morning!

What a morning.

It's a great one in Texas. The battle was won, though the fight is far from over.

It's a great one for gay couples and supporters of gay couples throughout the country. It's not as big a victory as they deserve, but at least it wasn't a defeat.

But let's not forget that although this morning feels good, the court still struck down one of the key tenants of our constitution - ensuring that all its citizens are allowed the opportunity to vote. We must not forget that, and we must fight against it.