Elephant Bathtime

Forget the baby elephants, watch this for weird trunk-on-trunk elephant snogging at 1:14.



[via Neatorama and Sri Lanka for 91 Days]

Sad Monsters, by Frank Lesser

Check out this hilarious excerpt from 'Sad Monsters' by Frank Lesser (of 'The Colbert Report' fame) over at Gawker.

Frank's been answering questions in the comments section for the past thirty minutes, and those answers are almost as funny as the excerpt itself!

Anyway, if you think that bit is funny, buy his whole book! Also, he's a nice guy, so if you only thought it was second-funniest book about sad monsters you've read this fall, you should still buy it. You can do that here.

Neutrinos Faster than Light?

Although this 'The Week' article about neutrinos possibly being faster than light (but how different, really, are they from light? And just because they can travel faster than it doesn't mean we can travel faster than it, so why would that make time travel seem more feasible?) is pretty interesting, prompting all of my parenthetical questions.

That being said, it has one of the weirdest endings of an article I've ever seen:

"We will continue our studies and we will wait patiently for the confirmation," [says physicist Antonio De Rujula]. "Everybody is free to do what they want: To think, to claim, to dream." At least for now, he adds, "I'm not going to tell you my dreams."

Who's asking about your dreams, Rujula? Now I really don't want to know about them. Sounds like they're pretty disturbing, but you secretly want to tell us because you want to see our reaction, which is why you told us you wouldn't tell us them without us even asking. Is that what's going on? Or did the interviewer get all creepy and ask, "Hey buddy, what'd you dream about? Hot stuff? Science-y stuff? Hot sciencey-stuff?" in which case they may have just been hitting on you.

Soon We Will All Be Frankensteins

Clearly, I'm already a Frankenstein because I have an extra body part in me. However, pretty soon we're all going to be telomerased-switched Frankensteins who live forever. At least, that's what I'm taking away from this study wherein researchers partially reversed the again process in mice.

This is almost too creepy to be cool, am I right? I think we may soon be crossing the uncanny valley of vampire-ism, zombie-ism, or humanoid-robot-ism very soon.

There's Gold in Them Thar Trees!

Apparently, we could turn trees into bioluminescent street lamps by using gold nanoparticles. That sounds pretty incredible, but the one problem is - how would you turn them off? Also, how could you stop them from turning any nighttime scene or moment into a really creepy scifi horror movie about alien trees from outer space bent on destroying and/or enslaving the human race?

The Scariest Thing I Saw Today

Woah. I cannot imagine why in heck somebody would choose to do this as their job. At first I thought, "Well, if they paid me a million dollars and gave me safety gear and a parachute, maybe..." but then I realized even that couldn't coax me up one of those towers.

Taller than the Empire State Building? Taller than Sears Tower? Jeezie peaches! I got scared just stepping out onto the observation deck on the Empire State Building and I wasn't even close to the edge!

What might be more interesting, though - How do they get down!?

Ugh, my feet are getting frightened-tingly just thinking about it.

Have I Met My Match?

Someone with the handle "Poodle_Heart" just posted a comment on a Gawker article about the BP oil spill. The comment:

"Clean energy. Energy independence. Jobs.

an agenda for the 21st century: clean, green energy and the jobs to produce it."

While I wouldn't have phrased it exactly like that, I'm seriously wondering if there's someone out there who has stolen my identity and is using it for good. Or if I just have a doppelganger.

Weird!

Lady Writer Booming Because of Twitter - Good News?

I don't know whether to be super pissed off or super happy about this. Fortunately, Jill Soloway agrees with me. Unfortunately, they're both much more successful than I am, which clearly leaves me even less successful than I previously thought I was.

Does this mean I should quit trying to write professionally and just start tweeting so I can then write professionally? Or do I continue on the vague path I'm on and then also retry this whole Twitter thing?

Personally, I think that my over 140 character blog posts should count as like a million tweets, so I should already be famous.

On a different note, do you ever hear weird noises that aren't connected to anything? Because I think I just heard a very tiny ant's alarm going off near my computer. I'm just sayin'.

This is Way Too Addictive

I usually don't fall for the classic "this wacky YouTube video!" videos. I did not think it was funny that Chawlie Bit Another Kid's Finger. Nor did I fall into the Chocolate Rain or even (though maybe just a tiny bit) Surprised Kitten. I don't consider myself above these videos, but I usually just don't get why everyone loves them so much. The worst of these are the Japanese Variety/Game Show videos. They usually show people doing terrible things or just random people, drawn-on graphics, and bright lights and annoying music. I just don't see what the point is.

I still agree in this case. But for some reason, and I have no idea why, I love watching this video. Yes, the editing is terrible and it would work much better as a 1.5 min clip than a 4 min endeavor, but oh man, I really, really want to see one of those completely unaware animals make it through the domino maze.



Here's my one question, though. How did they get their hands on all of those unusual animals? Ok, two questions - what kind of armadillo is that?

Time Travelin' Stew: 1st Stop - Ancient Greece

Combine this with this and ancient Greece is starting to look even more batsh*t crazy than I thought it was (and I read A LOT of batsh*t crazy Greek works in college).

Sorry, Disney, but I think Hercules had a lot more to do than "go the distance" unless that distance was to kill a Kracken and then kinkily do it with a part-boy-ox-lady-cloud. I'm just sayin'...

Hei! So(weird accent over the o)ber!

This has got to be one of the weirdest pop culture remakes ever to come out of Estonia, right behind their reimagining of "WALL-E" in post-dinosaur apocalypse Indonesia.



Thanks to The Daily What for the tip.

One Sick Sonuvabitch

I'm SO glad I'm not a lizard. That looks like just about the worst way to go. And that King fisher has NO heart - he's so nonchalant even when the legs are sticking up over his eyes. I know he's a bird, but he's one cold-blooded mamajamma.

Is Wal-Mart Beating the US?

I can't say I like Wal-Mart. In fact, there have been multiple occasions where I've said I outright hate the company. And for good reason. It can be a super-huge ****hole.

On this particular occasion, though, Wal-Mart, our favorite corporate demon (besides McDonald's, of course) is actually doing something entirely of their own accord for the benefit of the consumer and the environment alike: it's putting environmental-impact labels on clothing and other consumer goods. Just because they think that's the right thing to do.

Weird? Yes. Interesting idea? Certainly. Will it work (in the fight against global warming)? I really, really hope so.

So what do you guys think? Will it work? What's Wal-Mart's angle? Do you think they read my "Earth is Mother" 100% organic cotton T-Shirt that had a pretend nutrition fact label on it but isntead of nutrition it put environmental impact and were inspired? Because if not, that's a weird coincidence.

Despicable You? Despicable Me!

Looking at the list of actors in this, Despicable Me is going to be weird but hilarious.

@ Yahoo! Video

I'm game.

Sandfish! X-Rays! Science!

So this is f'd up and AWESOME.



Shout out to Liz for sharing this on Google Reader. Also, to read the full article, go here.

Brilliantly Bubbly

This picture of a bubble mid-pop is cooler than your mom. Just admit it.

Ghostbusters 3?!

Apparently, it's happening.

First "Year One," now this?! Harold Ramis, you've done it again!

Spoiler Alert: the joke is that all the original Ghostbusters have come back from the dead as ghosts and now Bill Murray's son has to ghostbust them!

Writing Funny is Tough

So last week at sketch class, I got the old, "been there, done that" note. This week I get, "Way too off the charts weird." Where's the middle ground?

Also, come on, what's so weird about a little girl choking on a '72 vintage McFeast? Seems logical enough to me. (wiki "McDonalds" and look under "Discontinued Items" if you don't know what I'm talking about)

Weirdest. Site. Ever

Just - No - I - Weird.

Heavy Sleeper?

Well, that's one way to do it.