Friday, August 28, 2009


That's right, dear readers. I'm going on vaca, back to ol' Big D. I may post, I may (most likely) not, but I will be thinking of you often. Please take this time to peruse hilarious earlier posts and explore hilarious earlier links. And, of course, you can always check here for easy access to the Daily Puppy.

Artful Stew


Just watch.

I Want More

My Life. My Dreams. My Lamp. Pixar.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I Want

To eat these cupcakes while watching the movie... Can't wait!

MTV, You Can't Punk Me

Anyone else hear about the "new" show on MTV "Pranked"? Seriously!? I know it's been a few years since Punk'd, but couldn't you at least have come up with a better name? Something less derivative and/or cleverer (or at least as clever in general) as the original name?

But I can give them one thing, in a world filled with gimmicky, jokey, groan-worthy names for equally groan-worthy reality shows, this show's title simply, succinctly displays it lameness.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Poodle Puppies!

Oh jeez. Adoptable poodle puppies. I want to squeeze them so hard they get some sort of amnesia that makes them forget they were ever in a puppy mill and also makes them love me forever. Sigh.

Monday, August 17, 2009

It's Happening...

Look at them. Laughing. Unaware of the horrifying future that lay ahead...

The Squirrelpocalypse: Squirrelmageddon! is on its way! And this "cheeky squirrel" is only fanning the flames.

As if stealing focus (literally!) in one picture isn't enough, now he's gone viral?!

Artful Stew readers, unite against this desecration of humanity! Steal the focus back for mankind! They may take our silly vacation photos, but they can never take our freedom!

Mind Explosion

I just realized why modern, post early-80s bands write songs with such weird, zany lyrics.

It's so they can act them out in their music videos! I mean, why else would someone write "Birthday Sex" if not to have something akin to birthday sex in his video?

With this new knowledge in mind. Here are some snippets from mt latest hit single "Puppy Petting":

I love petting puppies
Petting hundreds of fluffy puppies
In a big, green field
With a nearby sundae bar
That's got all kinds of ice cream flavors
And cool things to put in it like Oreos
Who doesn't love Oreos?

I love petting puppies
Hundreds of fluffy puppies
While flying high through the sky
Wearing really awesome wings
That actually can make you fly
So high!

I love petting puppies
Hundreds of fluffy puppies
While making an awesome claymation movie
With the Pixar guys
Who give me a job as a creative consultant
Aka joke writer! Who gets to make things out of clay sometimes
And then they make a TV show
Where I get to be the head writer and Tina Fey exec produces
And it's funny
And all about...

Me petting puppies and eating ice cream
Yeah, 'cause I'm the star, too
But the work week is really easy
Just a normal 9-5
And I get to spend the rest of the time
At my awesome countryside home

Petting hundreds of fluffy puppies.


... I'm telling you, it's gonna be huge. Top of the charts.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Voice in the Vent

... is currently watching "The Wizard of Oz."

I'm surprisingly fine with it. A nice way to end the day, I say.

And the Techie Music Videos Play On...

I really do hope that was mainly special effects instead of actual paper, though. It seems like such a waste. Also, my big dream last night involved me finding a super cheap street package of toner ink. I had to fight someone for it. Also, it was the future. I'm awesome.

HP - invent from Tom and Matt on Vimeo.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My Kind of Music...

This fits so well with my love of video game music that it's eerie. I've got a sneaking suspicion that I'm part robot.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Love it!

I love the guy in the middle with the sign "We have NO idea what we're talking about!"
Thanks to Liz and Cynical C blog for finding this one.

Poll Alert!

Only 10 days left to express your opinion on cats, monkeys, bunnies, and Glenn Beck! Stretch that SAT knowledge! Bunnies being adorable and cats yowling are neck and neck!

Only YOU can decide who takes it all.

Ukrainian Sand Animator

Pretty amazing.

Go here for a synopsis, as I suspect you (like me) do not automatically understand all of Ukraine's history.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Note to Self

After hearing about the test on Stuff You Should Know (an excellent HowStuffWorks podcast), I decided to take the online quiz version of the Meyers-Briggs personality test.

Here's how I did:

Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Judging

And here's the analysis:

The 4 Temperaments: The Teacher

ENFJ Profile

It sounds about right, so that's weird and cool. Does that sound like me to you? What'd you end up with?

Monday, August 10, 2009

Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog

Really, really good sci-fi dramedy musical. Watch it here or on the wundertv that is Hulu.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Worst Headline Ever

You Say Tomato, I Say Agricultural Disaster

I know you're losing revenues, New York Times, but does that really mean you need to turn into a classy version of the Post? For shame.

Opportunity is like Pi...

... It keeps on coming.

So sometimes when Opportunity knocks, lock the door, shut the blinds, crawl into the darkest corner of your house and just pray it goes away before you schedule yet another thing into your already overbooked iCal.

Because, let's be honest, if you're doing everything, are you enjoying anything?

My boyfriend hates planning. I don't mean he hates all plans or plans in general - there are certain things that he likes to know - he likes to know that he's getting a paycheck, that he's going to see his apartmentmates when he gets home at night, that we're going to hang out sometime this weekend, etc. It's details that he doesn't like getting hung up on.

I'm almost the opposite. I love plans. I love having them and I love keeping them. When he says, "Wouldn't it be fun to go to the Bronx Zoo sometime this summer?" and it's August and we haven't gone yet I think, "Wait, wait, when are we going to the zoo? How about Saturday? Or does Sunday work better for you? We could get up early, stay until mid-afternoon, then maybe hit the Staten Island Ferry or walk across the Brooklyn Bridge because we were going to do that, too, remember?" I like getting things done. I like doing things. I get anxious if I have an too unplanned of a day. Why? Because it's fun to do fun things. If it's snowing, it's fun to make a snowman. And if it's your birthday, it's fun to have a party and bake cupcakes.

The thing is, though, a lot of times unexpected things pop up, and in a life filled with plans, you suddenly have too much at the same time - but you'd hate to miss out.

You think, well, I'm going to take it easy this summer, snag an internship or two, maybe take a class here or there, but mostly hang out with my friends and enjoy my first summer out of college. But right after you sign up for Improv 101, Sketch 301 pops up with a great teacher and you think - 2 classes that overlap isn't that much, why not? How often does this come up? And then after you accept your 1st internship, another 2 pop up, but they're via email, so that hardly counts as work! And then a group asks you to shoot some videos for them and they're so funny and nice - how could you say no? So you say yes. And you keep saying yes. And you notice how your one internship and one class turned into 3 and 2 and a side project and whatever happened to that screenplay you were going to finish? To that camp visit you were going to make? To that vacation to San Diego?

And while you're having fun, and working (very) hard, your sketches aren't great because you only worked on them for 3 hours and your pitches aren't hot because you only worked on them for 5 and your invovlement in all of your activities is borderline tangential no matter how hard you try to dive in because you simply don't have time in your schedule.

So pause. And think. Hard. Because yes, you want to say yes, and yes, you do want to do all of these things, but the opportunities will keep coming even if you have to partially shut the door on one just to stop the onslaught of activities from piling up. And then you really can devote yourself to your work, and your friends, and your (lovely) boyfriend and family and all of those things you care about because there are only so many of them and only one of you and you all have just 24 hours in a day and barely 3 months of summer (2 if you discount the rain-fest that was June).

And while that same opportunity (job, connection, vacation, class, etc) may not pop up again, just remember that as long as you aren't burning bridges, you can always find something similar. Because when opportunity knocks, it really looks a lot more like the CutCo salesman than the Prize Patrol from Publisher's Clearing House. He'll be back next summer. Same knives. Same deal. And maybe next summer you'll actually have time to cook with them.

Just something to think about.

I Love This Puppy...

...Based on his ears alone.

Friday, August 7, 2009


My bad, THIS is way cooler than my PFD. Oh, and the best part? You can buy a ride for the cost of a bungee jump starting next year! SO AWESOME!

Although, yes, I guess technically I'm against it what with the whole "environmental destruction" aspect - but flying is neat!!

My Future Bedroom

I don't care if it's specifically designed for kids or not... I'm taking it!

New Poll! Retro-SAT Version!

Alright, so apparently you aren't allowed to fake-curse on Blogspot, as my poll that included a hilarious "bleeped out" cursing Glenn Beck character "was deleted." Eesh. Therefore, I have just turned it into a retro (my era) SAT version.

Will you get a 1600?

Spoiler alert! There are no wrong answers. I really just wanted to use the word "Yowl."

Stew of the Week


Check out The Cupcake Project's "Oreo Cookie Cupcakes with Built-In Cup for Milk." Now if you were to use Newman O's and my previously posted vegan chocolate cupcake recipe (just add Newman O's instead of chocolate chips) then this recipe is still Artful Stew approved for health and tastifaction.

Mmmm, mmm!

Happy (sweet) Stewing!

What'll They Think of Next?

Ok, I'll admit it. This is way cooler than the PFD (Personal Flying Device) that I invented when I was 14.

Uh Oh...

I knew it. Just when I thought the squirrels had given up, they've hired the rooks to solve all their mechanical problems. Now it's just a matter of time before...

Squirrelmagedon: Rookpocalypse Now

See it for yourself...

Stew of the Week

Sorry I've been terrible in Brewing up some Stew, but to be honest, my personal stewing has mainly involved my favorite staple, the PB&J, in addition to some Annie's Chocolate Bunny Grahams (a very good snack food for those who aren't supposed to eat too much snack food), and, of course, many a Luna Bar.

However, I have just bounced back (we'll see for how long) with this wonderful dessert recipe from Emeril Lagasse over at Planet Green (yes, Emeril's gone healthy and enviro-friendly! At least in this show). Just watch and be amazed. I can't wait to try this one...

Grilled Lavender Blackberries

What a fun and delicious summer dessert.

Happy Stewing everyone!

Honey Bunny!

How is that Golden Retriever puppies are always so cute? I don't understand. Even though 90% of these pictures of Honey are of her lying down, it doesn't matter. Every one of them is outstandingly adorable.

One Sick Sonuvabitch

I'm SO glad I'm not a lizard. That looks like just about the worst way to go. And that King fisher has NO heart - he's so nonchalant even when the legs are sticking up over his eyes. I know he's a bird, but he's one cold-blooded mamajamma.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

If I was as talented as this kid...

I'd be SO rich by now. Too bad I missed the boat on those Seattle "School of Rock" lessons. Nuts.