Mind Explosion

I just realized why modern, post early-80s bands write songs with such weird, zany lyrics.

It's so they can act them out in their music videos! I mean, why else would someone write "Birthday Sex" if not to have something akin to birthday sex in his video?

With this new knowledge in mind. Here are some snippets from mt latest hit single "Puppy Petting":

I love petting puppies
Petting hundreds of fluffy puppies
In a big, green field
With a nearby sundae bar
That's got all kinds of ice cream flavors
And cool things to put in it like Oreos
Who doesn't love Oreos?

I love petting puppies
Hundreds of fluffy puppies
While flying high through the sky
Wearing really awesome wings
That actually can make you fly
So high!

I love petting puppies
Hundreds of fluffy puppies
While making an awesome claymation movie
With the Pixar guys
Who give me a job as a creative consultant
Aka joke writer! Who gets to make things out of clay sometimes
And then they make a TV show
Where I get to be the head writer and Tina Fey exec produces
And it's funny
And all about...

Me petting puppies and eating ice cream
Yeah, 'cause I'm the star, too
But the work week is really easy
Just a normal 9-5
And I get to spend the rest of the time
At my awesome countryside home

Petting hundreds of fluffy puppies.

...

... I'm telling you, it's gonna be huge. Top of the charts.