Happy Birthday, Wallace and Gromit!

You make my life a happier, more animated place.

Pretty Kitty

Short, but so adorable. I want to be a kitty.

Uh... Neat?

Legit cool that it gets 12,000+ mi/gal, but does anyone know how to drive it? Or to even get inside of it? Also, did you guys see wheels? I have yet to see wheels, or airbags.

My Prius is My Spaceship

Seriously, let's all stop pretending and just say it, "the Prius is a spaceship." There's a reason my brother calls mine "the Pod." It's just that cool.

And no, mine doesn't have those features (it's an old-school Pri Pri) but it's still amazing.

Just Read This

I Love My Socialist Kidney.

My socialist kidney and I agree.

Tonight's Going to Be a Good Lip-Synch

Sometimes I feel like my life would be so much nicer if I was Canadian.



These guys are communications students at the University of Quebec in Montreal. Good job, kids.

Happy News

Remember when I told you I'd let you guys know about the happy news stories that are out there in the world?

Well, here's a great one.

Squirrelpocalypse: Coming of the Squirrelmageddon

Genetic birth defect my ass. This killing machine is the first success in a series of experiments the underground Ministry for the Militant Mini-Militia of Squirrels is running to create a race of Super Bionic Megatron Squirrel-Soldiers. Did you read the lines? NO FEAR.

Next they'll get two sabers, then spines on their backs like porcupines (or hedgehogs, whichever they can develop first), poisonous back toes like platypus, and finally the ability to spit radioactive ink like radioactive octopi.

It's happening, world. Get ready to fight.

OMT (Oh My Thesis)

Clearly, I should have just stolen my thesis from Jonah. What was I thinking: "Hello, Wally! An Analysis of Mass Media's Ability to Communicate Substantively Within and Through the Film Wall-E"? What does that even mean? No, no, I should have gone with: "WALL-E is good because of the funny parts and the good parts. The end."

Jonah Reviews Movies, Episode Two: WALL•E from Ben Compton on Vimeo.

Adorable

I'd really hate to be the zookeeper (or, more likely, zookeeper's intern) who's charged with talking a terrified tiger down off a 15-foot ledge.

Apparently no one ever told the tiger that he was a freakin' tiger.

I'm Going to Have to Agree...

... this IS the coolest thing the internet has to offer.

Thank you, Brendon, for that awesome link. Also, check out Brendon's blog, My Five Year Plan. It's equally amazing.

We Did It!

We've broken our record for most people to vote on a poll - 12 is the new 11!! Now let's keep exploding this number into even bigger numbers, ok? Turn 12 into 21, am I right?? GO TEAM!

You Know You Want It

Everyone, deep down, wants, for just one day, to star in their very own in-life musical. Don't agree?

Just imagine you're walking down the street and someone just starts singing for you, about you, and then everyone in all the shops and offices and street cars (yes, street cars exist again suddenly!) start singing for/about you and then BAM now you're this amazing singer and dancer and everyone's happy just for you and some hot guy is singing about how he's in love with you (if only you'd notice him!) and people pick you up and toss you and catch you and it's incredible.

I'm not saying I want to be in a musical (though that would be fun, too, you know, if I was talented), I just want to live one for one glorious day (birthday present, hint...?).

Unnecessary Technology

Aside from shock value (which would be cooler if the little squares moved really quickly instead of super slowly), how is this better than a treadmill?

Squirrels on a Plane

Even I'll admit it. I didn't know the Squirrelpocalypse would begin in France or on scooters. I should have known. Now, it's too late.

Yet Another Puppy is Classier than Me

I love that Anastasia the Miniature Dachshund looks heroic in the face of great adversity, just like the real fictionalized version of Anastasia. Perhaps I can learn from her. I do feel oddly inspired to purchase a pink-hearted necklace...

Wallace and Gromit Are My BFF

Oh man, SO getting the DVD of this Wallace & Gromit short! If only I could work for Aardman and Nick Park...

Come on, Window Shammy!

VS
While Squeeze-Weasels still has a 2-vote lead, Window Shammy's fighting back strong with 3 votes!

Alright, readers, who's it going to be? Who will win this CATTLE OF THE PENITENTIARY?!

It's the Muppet Show!

Some highlights from a Topless Robot post about the Top 10 Weirdest Muppet videos.



Funniest mass-bunny-murder this side of Niagra Falls. Also, why is Alan Arkin a monster?



Admittedly, this is way better than my 5th grade talent show audition, in which I sang this song a capella. I think my version was probably funnier, though, you know... in a sad way.



I'll never watch "Dr. Doolittle" the same way again... Oh, what am I talking about? Two-headed llama push-me-pull-yous and giant pink snails with flying moths? That was insane enough on its own. The ass-kicking and Muppet-fied animals is just a bonus. A big bonus.

The Voice in the Vent

Just thought everyone should know - the VITV is doing vocal warm-ups. He has a lovely voice, really. I wonder if he's getting ready to go to an audition or to get in the shower.

Ah, just heard his shower curtain pull close. That answers that question.

The Men Who Stare at Goats

The question isn't "Who's excited about this movie?" Because, spoiler alert, nigh upon everyone and their mom is.

The question is, "Who else is excited about this movie because it brings goats into the film-comedy world?" Because, double spoiler alert, I am thrilled.

Although I do hope it goes better than their action/family debut in Jurassic Park...

Awesome.

Nate's Cartoons is back! With the vengeance of a thousand zebras!

Please Don't Make Me Punch Your Face!

I've heard too many stories like this. I'm lucky I have a supportive family, because this could be me in 2 1/2 years if my plan of getting insanely rich by way of a top secret Puppy Brigade (and Circus?) falls through. I hope the Senate doesn't wuss out and keeps this provision in - it saves money, and, more importantly, it saves lives.

Also, looking for moral (and emotional) support, I scrolled down the online comments - WAY too many of them cite this as a reason not to support health care reform. But no worries, I've got a plan.

1) Start working for an insurance company, get way up there, like, Super CEO status
2) Find these people and punch them in the face repeatedly. I'm talking uber-bloody, turning their noses into face-powder.
3) Refuse to give them coverage, citing the "pre-existing condition" of an ass-kicking by yours truly
4) Refuse to let them into an ER, citing the "waste of money the uninsured are spending in our precious Emergency Rooms." Suck on that, fist-in-face misinformed!

So That's What Scarred Me For Life

While this article may sound interesting or "cool" to you, it's really just a revelation into the horrifying world of little 7-year-old Artful Stew, who loved the tiny, green lizards in her backyard. Loved them so much that she wanted to catch them, but all she caught was the tail, the horrifying, gyrating, flip-flopping tail.

When you're 7 years old, the last thing you want to do is rip off an animal's body part.

The last thing you want to happen if THAT happens is for said appendage to KEEP MOVING.

I refused to go into the backyard for weeks afterwards. And I still shiver when I think about it, twisting and turning...

Wire My Brain, Please

Because I want my old personal mental iCal like this woman. Steve Jobs, get your minions on this.

My New-Old Pet, or It's Goat Time

When I get a real backyard, it's back to hillybilly nanny-raising goatherding Sasha, just like when I was 5.

Thanks, Michael

Not as good as the original (obviously), but it's a fun, heartfelt tribute.

The Psuedo-Planets Have Aligned

Pluto the Golden Retriever's photos are classier than any professional photography I've ever gotten.

I'm just saying.

Remembering September 11, 2001

Shout out to Liz for posting this, too. I think it encompasses what a lot of us felt, and it still gets me.

Sorry I just have the link. The embed code is malfunctioning.

It's Go Time

Last night I dreamt I was in a war zone.

It started off simply enough, I was Trudy from Mad Med and Pete the d-bag had made us buy these new contacts. So, since they were stolen from the eyes of Colombians, the Colombians came and kidnapped us from our house (Dallas house, not Mad Men NYC house) and started a war on eyes with the U.S. We escaped with our eyes, just barely, but by then I was me again, and I had met up with some U.S. rebels and we were fleeing towards who knew where. We may have been off to my old high school as refuge, but I'm not sure.

Anyway, the enemy had set off some wicked shrapnel bombs. I don't even know if these things exist, but they're bombs that, when they land, just shoot off shrapnel everywhere, and there were thousands of these things going off in the area. We tried to dodge as much as we could, but after walking for about a mile or so after the first wave, I realized I had a horrible pain in my shoulder. That's when everyone saw that I had flimsy, burning tin-foil plastered to my shoulder. At that point, they peeled it off, which felt more pleasant, but a lot wetter and sun-burny, than a Band-Aid.

While we were trying to find an appropriate bandage (I am immunosuppressed after all, can't have a giant open wound!), we were ambushed first by bees, then by the enemy, and then by British soldiers sent to help. We went with them, and then I woke up.

So, President Obama, where's my Purple Heart?

Frog Wrestling!

Hilarious and adorable. They put my brother's high school wrestling teams to shame, what with their ability to leap into each other and, literally, bounce back.

Big Food vs. Big Insurance

Classic Michael Pollan, and very innovative, interesting information about how health care reform can help tackle what's causing us to get sick in the first place: the American diet.

The Heat is On!

And by "heat" I mean "job search" and by "on" I mean "active." But "The job search is active" did not sound nearly as catchy. Maybe "Job Search: Activated" in a robot-voice would have done better. Yes, definitely better.

Also, after stealing this idea from a friend, you're probably all going to get a wonderfully annoying Facebook invite to my blog's group in the near future. Because, yes, however many months after creating this blog, I just now realized that's a great way to get people to actually read it.

This next poll is getting more than 11 votes if I have to kill someone and use his dead fingers to check the box!

Things I've Noticed

The other day on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" the NPR comedy news quiz, they replaced Carl Kasell with Korva Coleman, a person, by name at least, appears to be the exact mirror image of CK... KC. Same alliteration, reverse lettering. Interesting.

Also, I just noticed that lead and deal are almost reverses of each other, as well. Of course, they're not full reversals, because the ea sound works and ae does not, but still. I'm keeping it. Now, who wants to come up with a government conspiracy surrounding this fact? Because, really, lead(ers) do make deals, somtimes... dirty, downright despicable deals.

Just thought I should mention it...

Miscommunication Station

While this is great news in general, I really wish the headline was what I initially read it as:

"FDA panel approves Gardasil HPV vaccine for males, and competing Cervarix will hit shelves at high noon."

Also, there's no way Cervarix is going to do any better than Gardasil unless it's free. No self-respecting person is going to ask their doctor, "Hey, can I get the HPV vaccine? You know, the cervarix one?" Because they know they'd slip and say cervix, and once it's been said, you can't take that back.

09/09/09 NEW POLL!

To celebrate the glorious occasion of having the same number along all the dates when putting dates this way (Wednesday, September, 9, 2009 makes it seem much less monumental), I've declared it New Poll Day!

Please enjoy my poll of nonsensical wordplay, just a sniff of what's to come at my Sketch 301 graduation show this weekend at the UCB. 5:30 PM for anyone who'd like to come!

The Voice in the Vent

In a vent possibly unrelated to the vent in my room (as I am currently in my living room) has been blasting 80s-'00s pop music for the past 3 hours. I don't know what he/she is up to (random dance party? Hardcore workout? Very peppy writing?), but it's making my job search much more pleasant.