Squirrelpocalypse: Coming of the Squirrelmageddon

Genetic birth defect my ass. This killing machine is the first success in a series of experiments the underground Ministry for the Militant Mini-Militia of Squirrels is running to create a race of Super Bionic Megatron Squirrel-Soldiers. Did you read the lines? NO FEAR.

Next they'll get two sabers, then spines on their backs like porcupines (or hedgehogs, whichever they can develop first), poisonous back toes like platypus, and finally the ability to spit radioactive ink like radioactive octopi.

It's happening, world. Get ready to fight.