So I noticed that every movie that has come out this month has gotten a B- or lower in reviews. Examples: Friday the 13th, He's Just Not That Into You, etc. Therefore, I have decided that I'm going follow the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind route and distribute my first feature in Febs. While I won't get the built-in audience that summer and December distribution has (warm weather and/or vacation time), I think the benefits far outway the slightly reduced viewership.
You see, even if it's a low-budget, star-free, wackadoodle comedy about pet shelters in Dallas, my film will look like gold compared to the other balls of goo that are shown that weekend, and the reviewers will be so happy just to watch something that isn't New in Town or Bride Wars that they'll rate my movie, "the best film of the year!" Then, moviegoers will be so surprised to see a film rated A- that they'll flood the theaters and I will be Box Office Number 1 until the good movies start coming out again in May.
And then I will make millions of dollars, retire to sunny California, and play with my many, many dogs.
Future figured out.
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