The Things I Think About

(on the way home tonight)

1. A "Sleepys" ad on the front of a bus does not make me want to ride that bus. Why? Because nothing good can happen to anyone who is sleepy on a bus. If the rider's sleepy, he or she could fall asleep and miss the stop, or worse, fall asleep and get robbed while (s)he is sleeping, or worst, fall asleep, miss the stop, and get robbed. If the driver's sleepy, best case scenario is that makes it the worst ride ever, middle case scenario is that they miss a stop or run a red light or bump a parked car, worst case scenario is that everyone dies. So, Sleepys, all I'm saying is, I've got primo ad space on my bed frame. Just think about it.

2. PBS is trying to rip me off. Why? Because they think I'm stupid, too stupid to realize that they're lazy. I spent my entire subway ride home trying to read their ad for the new NOVA series "Becoming Human," about human evolution. Now, I can read (I know, I was shocked, too), but what I couldn't figure out was why the list of steps for how we became human changed for each ad. One had 9 steps, another had 11. So which did they forget in the ad that had 9 steps? I DON'T KNOW. They hid steps 5 and 11 behind the PBS logo in 2 of the ads. So while one ad had steps 1 - 9 clearly labeled, another had two mysterious steps that were shadowed out. The weird thing is, step 5 in the first ad was step 6 in the second ad, so it's like they wanted to make it seem like there were more steps, so they cover one up with a logo, but then since that step doesn't exist, they just move step 5 to step 6. AS THOUGH I WON'T NOTICE. Fools. It gets weirder, though, because the shadowed-out steps have half-drawings (each step is accompanied by a drawing cleverly illustrating the step) and even the first letter of the step there to fool you into thinking that step actually existed ("W"? W - what? Where are they going with this!?), but instead someone just designed two generic-looking drawings just so they would have a placeholder for the logo without having to think of 2 new actual steps. PBS, all I'm saying is, either think of 2 new steps, or just cover up the steps you had before - I don't know if you have a contract with the artist stating that you cannot cover up his work or something, but come on, I'm a smart person - I'm in on your scheme. Also, I definitely dabble in the graphic arts. And I work for cheap. Think about it.